Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Love today

Monday, June 30th, 2008
Nermeen Murad
The Jordan Times

I really suggest that the entire Jordanian population declare national mourning, cancel all entertainment activities and weddings, and close all fun-centred venues for children and adults.
National sermons should be blared from all radio channels and schools should be open all year round without holidays, while Jordanians should work day and night without annual leave. More importantly, I suggest that Jordanians should ban all satellite channels and allow only news channels.

We should absolutely become true to our gloomy nature and forget about any attempted campaign to lift our spirits. In fact, I suggest that newspapers everyday continue to carry banners about the increase in prices, unnecessary killing in surrounding countries and never allow the Jordanian population a break from the gloomy predictions of our collective "political instability" or increasing "economic burden".

Sounds too drastic? Not if we allow every Nayef, Zuheir and Shaher (Arabic for every Tom, Dick and Harry) to blow out and destroy every national effort to bring culture or fun to this country under the three now famous arguments of normalisation with Israel, loose morals and economic burden.

I don't want to discuss the cancelling of Jerash Festival or replacing it with the Jordan Festival. I have no opinion on the management of either festival nor do I really care who gets to be the boss of festivals in Jordan. I do care, however, that every time the country organises an internationally respected event of the standards of Placido Domingo or even "homosexual" Mika, the otherwise dormant civil society institutions wake up and start terrorising the overseers of these activities and in turn terrorise us, those who want to go to these events.

By labelling us as "normalisers" or "Westernised/liberals" and even "bourgeois", the so-called "nationalists" terrorise us into hiding our interests just because we cannot claim that they are born out of an Arab Islamic culture or because the more Westernised Israel also sampled some of those events.

We are forced to make excuses for our tastes or our artistic or moral choices, as if we were trying to ward off some stigma that is attached to enjoying cultural activities or seeking to alleviate some of life's pressures by listening to music or watching a play.

It also invites those who don't understand the events to think that it is all right to attack the people who attend concerts and label them, if not even going as far as physically harming them.

We must remember that it is precisely these types of arguments that encouraged Al Qaeda to send its suicide bombers into what it saw as gathering places of the rich and morally lose population in Amman's hotels to unleash its indiscriminate wrath on them killing and maiming innocent people.

I am against normalisation of ties with the state of Israel and will commend anyone who fights the infiltration of our markets with Israeli products or the welcoming of anti-Arab Zionists into our homes because that would be the normal exchange of friendly states and people.

The campaign against the Jordan Festival, however, does not fall under the normalisation category. None of the performers are Israeli and none propagates the occupation of Palestine. The possibility that one of the agencies that proposed to organise events has a CEO who personally has sympathies with Israel does not mean the people of Jordan have normalised relations with Israelis.

The possibility that one of the performers is homosexual does not mean that the performance will propagate such behaviour in our midst. The performance has to be assessed for its artistic value and not for the personal morals of the performer.
As for the statement that called on the premier to cancel the festival, which apparently does not represent the people of Jordan who "shoulder several economic burdens", I suggest you go back to the beginning of this column.

Friday, June 27, 2008

The balad i am in

The first thing i notice upon returning to Amman is the ridiculous prices.. a meal that i would normally have paid 10-15 jd 6 months ago is now almost double! what the hell.. i mean i realise gas prices are going up but this is ridiculous!! notice how pissed i am.. i said ridiculous twice!
how are the rest of the Jordanians coping - hamdillah my family has money but what about those people who find it so hard making ends meet?
the second thing i notice is how relaxed some men have become on the streets of Amman towards women.. yes they still stare and look but its a lot less agressive than it used to be.. or maybe im just not going out as much?
the 3rd thing is how friggin hot its gotten.. is this global warming? send some heat to london - lord knows they could do with it..
4th-- people are becoming more comfy with who they are.. i went to an event today and saw some people i knew.. who lets just say are attracted to the same sex and they were very touchy feely around each other in public, i dont know how it made me feel.. actually i was worried about them coz i didnt want people to start pointing fingers but then again they were women and women can get away with touching another girls face or holding hands .. then again a lot of straight men in amman walking down the street seem to be holding hands.. and no one ever points that out as homosexual behaviour. maybe its because i knew that these women were gay.
5th i was proud that amman was becoming more cultural, the jerash music festival is showcasing some wonderful artists- a lot of variety this year, the french cultural center organized a electro.rap.rock event in a park and it attracted a lot of people... the people of amman are finally getting in touch with their artistic side. some friends of mine even held an exhibition at a gallery showing off their art work. It made me feel proud to be back.
BUT.... there are always buts.. the driving in this country is still as horrific as it has always been, in one afternoon i saw 4 accidents, i even saw a 12yr old boy take his parents Bentley for a spin.. literally spin.. he was doing donuts ( i think thats what its called) in the road - what wreckless and careless behaviour.. where are his parents!? Yesterday some guy tried to run me off the road coz i honked at him for driving at 10kmph on a main road.. some things never change.. im not sure if its great to be back yet.. oh yeah and on top of that the first 2 weeks i was back i didnt have a moment to myself because it was event after event after wedding after engagement party.. i got physically ill because i couldnt handle it.. did everyone decide to get hitched this summer? im happy for all these couples but please enough with the pre parties (themed or un-themed) lunches, dinners and post parties.. how many times can you see the same people over and over again?
im not going to get into the subject of how ridiculous it is that these couples are deciding to get hitched after only dating for 3 months.. whats the rush!!? i know amman society puts pressure on you, and makes you feel like a leper if your single.. but patience people.. i know 8 couples that have divorced within the 1st year of marriage!
so yeah i still cant decide if its good to be back...

Sunday, June 08, 2008

Dont take it personal

The last time i felt was when you gave me that look, it tugged at my heart, and made me feel alive again. U said we would meet again, but i dont want to meet you when im happy with someone else, because it will always make me wonder " what if". You are not for me, but my heart misses you.
I am with someone else, but he doesnt have my heart, yet he makes me happy. He makes me the most comfortable i have ever been in a relationship. He tells me i look beautiful almost every single day. The older i get, the less i believe in soul mates, the more i believe that almost any 2 people who have similar goals and mutual respect can fit together and agree on a future.
Do i settle with someone who makes me happy? or do i keep my eye out for someone who will give me the rush that you did?

Friday, May 30, 2008

God put a smile on your face

Nothing makes your realise how amazing your man is, like another man .. went out for belated birthday dinner.. there was a guy there who embodied everything socially that i was looking for.. good family - i cringe when i say that now - because you think good = money or good = family name and familiarity... and it sort of does... ( or at least how my parents look at it)
anyways.. good family, money, funny, but... he's not full.. he's 30 ish dresses well is witty and has a good job but he's obviously not had enough of the clubbing lifestyle.. in arabic we say his eye is not full... he would be someone who could cheat on me.. he could be someone i could be happy with in the beginning until i start to get insecure.. is it strange that ive analaysed the whole relationship without even having more than a 2 min conversation with the guy?
but it came to me in a flash.. like a fast forward .. that life with this guy would be like X..
and then i thought.. my guy isnt rich.. but he's ambitious, i hate his shoes, but he's funny, he makes me smile he makes me feel protected.. he would make a great partner and a great father.. and thats all that matters to me.. relationships arent easy.. you cant always get what you want.. so ive made a decision.. that for now.. My mister isnt ready to settle coz he cant... coz he has to finish his phd and start working a lil.. and in the meantime we havent really promised each other anything.. but we are sorta together, and im leaving my door open.. im leaving my options open that if mr socially suitable shows up i will say yes to a date.. but if in the next year and a half or 2.. (max) i should give in to mr not so socially suitable but mr who makes me so happy and enjoy the life we can build together.
so thats what ive decided.. call me selfish., but arent we all about self preservation? i want whats best for me.. i want someone who will make me happy who will support me emotionally and financially.. im not asking for the world im just asking for comfort..
the closer i am to 30 the more my clock is ticking.. the more i just want to settle down and not waste my time... does this sound selfish?

Friday, May 09, 2008

East London




Ive been living in london for over 7 months and have barely explored the city.. i finally made it to East London over the long weekend..

Im definitly going back again.. Brick Lane.. which i now refer to as Trick Lane.. is wonderfully colorful but very crowded.. Spitalfields market filled with indp designers :)

I finally had Ethiopian food yummmy!

Highly recommend it.. Then went to Tower Hil and Bridge i didnt even know that there was a castle there!

Had a drink at ST Katherine docks - i honestly didnt feel like i was in London.. ohhh and i finally saw my first Banksy! :)

War - what is it good for

I just found out my bf is pro war!!! Holy cow! how the hell did that happen?
im sooooooo anti-war to the extent that i dont believe in armies, guns, etc... alarm bells went off in my head.. how could i not know this and weve been dating for almost 6 months!
Then he finally explained his point and it made sense! im not saying ive moved to the pro war side.. he explained it from his realist perspective and i understood what he was saying.. but i never look at it from the political aspect im always looking at it from the humanitarian perspective.. i could type out how he convinced me but its way too long to explain and i have finals coming up so i need the brain power..

Thursday, April 10, 2008

If the stars dont matter

Am i being stupid and just setting myself up for more pain?
i have 5 more weeks with ma man - he's back now.. until he leaves again and im off for the whole summer back to Amman.. and even when we both get back we are only in town for one more week at the same time.. We both dont do long distance and he still have 2 yrs on his phd. He's stressed majorly and hes also stressed about our relationship because he doesnt want to hurt me and he sees how different our backgrounds are but how similar we are in character and we work well together.
He's obviously not ready to make a serious commitment right now.. and i dont want him to really make one now.. i still need more time to figure out if this is someone i could spend my life with.. i guess they tell you if you dont know the answer yet then the answer is no..
I have to be logical here.. i can either end it now.. coz i know its most probably going to end in a month and a half or spend that time having fun with a wonderful man and just let go. Its all bitter sweet, but i guess everything happens for a reason. For once i find a decent man who has all the essential qualities im looking for and its probably not going to work out.. but i think im ok with it because i do see the difference between us - mostly socially. So for now im just going to enjoy my time with him and hopefully i can be a bit robotic with my emotions at the end. I know i deserve the best and i know he wants me to have it and he's feeling guilty but weve agreed to talk about it in a few weeks. But i think i already know how its going end.. oh well...

Monday, March 17, 2008

chics n tats


Oh my god.. chicks with tattoos are hot.. and piercings.. (but not too many) especially lip and tongue piercings... i just discovered Suicidegirls.com... im not into the erotic side of it.. i just think its beautiful artwork on beautiful women.

this is the inner lesbian in me speaking..